There's nothing like going without things you take for granted to get your your old paradigm shifting. Two (now going on three) weeks ago my van died. I turned it off at a gas station and. . .it died. Being in a two-parent one income home, it was apparent that we weren't about to get that car fixed the next day AND school was starting the very next week (two or three days later). Suddenly, I find myself in this predicament I can't "Martha" my way out of (again). I just couldn't get a workable solution that didn't require my being car-less. So what do all moms do when they can't do what they want or get what they need on their own? They ask for help.
Asking for help is not a natural ingrained response for me when things go wrong. I am MRS. INDEPENDENT and you can't tell me anything (my poor hubby)! I can do it all (in my mind) but this time I couldn't and still can't. I have to wait on someone else (my poor hubby) and it is KILLING me (and him too probably)! But along the way, God has been teaching me to choose the Mary path and take what is better.
I've had to learn some humility and use my manners more and appreciate the things I do have: like a bus system, and a stroller, and kids who love to walk, and the weight loss I'm experiencing slowly but surely because I've kicked my stalling metabolism into overdrive and can't seem to stop sweating, and . . .you get what I'm saying. There are a lot of unexpected blessings I'm receiving from this "trial". Don't get me wrong: it is in-con-ven-i-ent and a hassle to ride the bus with me and three little ones (and their entourage of stuff). At the same time my eyes have been opened to just how stuck in a rut I've been as well riding in my van and complaining about what I don't have (more like what I wouldn't take the time to do for myself). I hope after the van is on the road again and things return to "normal" that I won't forget to count my blessings and to see the world for what it is: open, and full of possibilities.
3 comments:
I, too, HATE asking for help...I'll only do it if I have tried every other option and it's something that involves my kids.
Glad you were able to find other ways to get around!
Count me in on the hesitancy to ask for help.
ALTHOUGH...I am learning that it IS okay!
My kids are 14, 12, and 10 which translates to "lots of activities, practices, playdates, sports, etc."
My husband is a professional which translates to "working long hours."
A couple weeks ago, my best friend couldn't help, and my all of my kids had to be at different places at the same time. I had to call another neighbor to transport one of them. I never want to do that because people have their own kids to cart around, but I did...and it was ALRIGHT!
Lately, I've been telling my kids to "find a ride" here and there because I simply can not do it all. I also get one friend to babysit my dog - she has a key to my house and will come in to get her. Another had to give me sugar for a recipe my daughter was making.
Sooo...I'm learning to accept that African proverb, that it takes a village.
Plus, anytime I can help my friends, I do.
You wrote this post a while back, so I assume you're back in business with your van! :)
Thanks for letting me use your space for an outlet. :)
Man, it has been too long... I wish I had a "like" button for these comments (Facebook Junkie I am). Shell, I still love your posts and I am still driving that van...lol! Anita, I have been learning that asking for help is a necessity now. It all can't be done in one day and I won't die because I asked for help: I actually do myself a solid! Thanks for the comments ladies!
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